If You Could Change One Thing in Your Life Right Now, What Would It Be?

Most of us have something we would change if we could.

Maybe you'd stop worrying so much.

Maybe you'd have more confidence.

Maybe you'd stop getting angry over things you later realize weren't worth it.

Maybe you'd finally make the decision you've been putting off.

Or maybe you can't even name exactly what's wrong. You just know that some part of your life isn't going the way you want it to.

That's worth paying attention to.

Start with what you actually want to change

It's easy to get used to things.

You can live with stress for so long that being stressed starts to feel normal. You can second-guess yourself so often that you begin thinking, That's just the way I am.

But what if it isn't?

Try asking yourself a simple question:

"If I could improve one thing about myself or my life right now, what would it be?"

Don't worry yet about how you're going to change it.

First, identify it.

Get specific

"I want to be happier" is a start, but go further.

What would being happier actually look like?

Would you:

• worry less?

• have better relationships?

• feel more confident?

• stop dwelling on something that happened?

• control your temper better?

• stop avoiding people or situations?

• make decisions without constantly second-guessing yourself?

The more specific you become, the easier it is to start looking at what is actually getting in your way.

Then ask a different question

Once you've identified what you want to change, don't stop at:

"What should I do about it?"

Ask: "Why is this happening in the first place?"

That's an important distinction.

If you continually experience the same unwanted emotion, thought or reaction, simply trying harder to suppress it may not tell you why it keeps coming back.

Understanding the source of something can open up possibilities that weren't obvious before.

You don't have to accept "that's just me"

People sometimes build their identities around things they actually don't like about themselves:

"I'm just an anxious person."

"I've always had a temper."

"I've never been confident."

"I overthink everything."

But something you've experienced for a long time isn't necessarily something you have to experience forever.

So here's today's question:

If you could change one thing about yourself or your life right now, what would it be?

Write down your answer.

Then ask yourself:

When did this begin?

What seems to trigger it?

Has it gotten better or worse over time?

What would my life look like if this were no longer controlling me?

Sometimes the right question is the beginning of a very different answer.